When the Friendship is Over.
Friendship breakups hurt.
Sometimes even more than the romantic ones.
Because friends are supposed to be your safe place. Your ride-or-die. Your chosen family.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned:
Not every friendship is meant to last forever.
And that’s okay.
Sometimes it ends quietly.
You’ve grown, but they haven’t.
Your values don’t align anymore.
The conversations feel different. The energy feels heavier.
Other times, it ends abruptly.
They betray you.
They talk about you.
They do something that tells you—loudly—that they were never who you thought they were.
Either way, the friendship you had is gone.
The One That Still Stings
Years ago, I had a friend betray me over a man.
A man I had no interest in.
A man I’d kept at arm’s length for years because he wasn’t my type, wasn’t my match, wasn’t for me.
But he noticed something in her, an insecurity, a quiet competition I didn’t even know existed.
And he used it.
He leveraged her need to “win” to get close to her behind my back.
I was shook.
This was someone I broke bread with, someone who sat across the table from me smiling…
all the while stabbing me in the back.
It took therapy for me to really understand what happened.
My therapist helped me see that she wasn’t truly my friend, I was her measure.
Her secret competition with me was something I could have never controlled, no matter how loyal, supportive, or genuine I was.
That realization changed everything.
Because when someone is competing with you in silence, you’ll always lose — not because you’re lacking, but because they’ve made your existence their scoreboard.
How I Choose Now
I used to hold on anyway.
Trying to keep the bond alive out of loyalty.
Remembering the good times and hoping we could get back there.
But what I’ve learned is that clinging to someone who no longer respects you, supports you, or aligns with you is self-betrayal.
And one thing about me now? I don’t betray myself. These days, I remove myself with grace.
No drama.
No “big reveal” of all the receipts.
No making mutual friends choose sides.
Just distance. Boundaries. Acceptance.
Because grace doesn’t mean they were right, it means I value my peace over proving my point.
When Do You Leave vs. Talk It Out?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here’s what I’ve learned:
Talk it out when there’s been a misunderstanding, not a character reveal.
Leave when their actions show a pattern of disrespect, competition, or betrayal.
Talk it out if both of you are invested in repairing the relationship.
Leave if you’re the only one doing the work to keep it alive.
(Want my full guide to knowing when to repair vs. when to release? It’s in this week’s paid add-on. Link in bio.)
This Week, I’m Asking:
🖤 Is there a friendship you’re keeping alive out of habit instead of harmony?
🖤 Where are you downplaying your growth just to keep someone comfortable?
🖤 What would it look like to leave quietly—and with grace?
You’re not cold. You’re not fake. You’re just protecting your peace.
And in the soft life, that’s the only side you stay on.
Lead with softness. Live in overflow.